Gripe

I'm visiting a client today and due to the unusual nature of having so many members of one team together at once, the leader of this department decided to take as many of the department as available out to dinner.  And, they didn't invite me, which is in many ways OK.  After all, it's not often that they get together and wanting to have the team for a little social is actually good for them.  And, I suppose they might want to discuss a few things that are not appropriate to discuss in front of me. 

Even so, what's not cool is that they openly discussed their dinner plans in front of me after I'd spent all day with them (yesterday too, and again tomorrow).  Another thing that makes this really ookie is that the leaders and many others flew in to be here, so it's not like they could assume I had plans tonite.  I mean, the least they could do would be to tell me something like, "Hey Hillel, we're having a team dinner tonite, and we're really sorry we can't invite you because we want to talk about company stuff that would be hard to do with you around." 

But no, not a single word to me, just talking about dinner, and drinks, and joking about needing a designated driver.  How rude! 

Really, I'm not annoyed about "dinner", I'm annoyed about what it SCREAMS about how they think about my role and what I'm here to do.  To be so openly rude is just something I can't imagine doing unless I were totally clueless or really trying to send a message.  Even then, I wouldn't have the ice in my veins to take that route to send a message.  It's not that I'm a push-over.  If I had to hurt or kill someone to defend myself or my family, I wouldn't even think twice about it. 

But it takes a special brand of cluelessness to be so openly rude.  Seriously, they probably have no clue just how rude they were being.  Again, to be that blindly rude, in my mind, tells me so much about the role I play in their minds. 

Let's assume the most benefit of the doubt -- that they plan to discuss things not appropriate for non-company folks.  So, how hard would it be to do me the courtesy of a polite, "wish we could, but we can't"? 

Like, they see inviting me or telling me I can't come would be like apologizing to the computer for leaving it at the office.  I think that's how they see me.  As a machine full of information that should spit it out when they push "print" rather than the brains behind the success of what they're trying to accomplish.  Because, in reality, if I left, they would be a mess.  And they don't even know it.